I've just read in Saturday's Guardian (May 22 2004) - yes, I know it's a crap paper, but it had a free CD - that cuddly Ken Livingstone is even better than I thought. He thinks that 4-wheel drive vehicles in London are all driven by wankers ('idiots' he calls them, but we know what he means). And he's right of course. He also calls them 'Chelsea tractors', which I hadn't heard before - they're probably called that as the kids in the back often look like pigs I guess. If you have a 4WD vehicle (also called SUVs in the US), please set fire to it now to save me the trouble. Well, I suppose it's handy when the mums have to negotiate the grass verge outside the school.

My mate Jon gave me a good game to play with 4WD/SUV names. Basically, you put the word 'Anal' in front of the name: it's funny more often than you think. e.g. 'Anal Dominator', 'Anal Explorer' etc. ad nauseam.

Incidentally, they did a survey in South Warrington of speeding vehicles (as reported in the Warrington Guardian some weeks ago). They found that 85% of drivers exceeding the speed limit were mums driving their kids to school in the morning. Of course, these are the same mums that don't let their kids walk to school because of the dangerous traffic. Go figure.

I was hit by a taxi the other day as I was turning out of my cul-de-sac. The whys and wherefores of who's at fault I won't go into (it was probably mine, in other words). But what annoyed me most about the incident is that the taxi was on its way to pick up some kid from his house to ferry him to school. This is a small town, and the school is about 1o minutes' walk away. But the kid is still picked up for both journeys, five days a week. I bet he's fat too.

More despair and loathing tomorrow. At least Ken's ok.